he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
