My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
