honey bunches of taint.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
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