haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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