So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
