I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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