Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I just want nice things and good sex
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize