I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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