on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
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