Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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