I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
