The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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