Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize