is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Just pee around me
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
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