dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Randomize
