lets start a swedish sibling band together
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Randomize
