You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
What a dumb baby whore.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
