Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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