why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
