I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
