Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
