I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
