We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
