His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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