we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
