But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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