Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
