He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize