My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
