you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
