I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Randomize
