I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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