I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
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