I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
