just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
