I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
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