Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Nobody cheats on THIS.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
