I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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