That's intense
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
