yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
