you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
