would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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