Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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