Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
