When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Randomize
