areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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