Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
All the doctor said was why
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
