just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
We're too hungover to prance.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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