I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Do vagina's smell?
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
