i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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