I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
