I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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