so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
