I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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