Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize