this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
