The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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