He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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